有时候，我会觉得身边都是傻逼。而其他时候则会发现，并非只是有时候。

Some days, I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots. Other days, I realise it's not just some days...---innit

在我撸管的时候，我喜欢发出超大的声响。假如你不喜欢，那就滚去另一家汉堡王吧。
When I have a wank, I like to make stupid loud noises. If you don’t like it, fuck off to a different Burger King --nonceygeorgewoodward

我去一家商场应聘圣诞老人，他们问我的第一个问题就是喜不喜欢孩子。

“当然喜欢了，”我回答说，“你们要不信的话可以去问问警察。”
I went for a job as a store Santa and the first question I was asked was if I liked children,

"Of course I do, " I answered, "and if you don't believe me you can check with the child sex offenders register. "---kimjongtrump

去世的那个112岁的利物浦人实际年龄只有47岁。

他在利物浦待了一辈子，所以看起来像是已经112了。
The 112 year old scouser who had died was actually only 47.

He'd lived in Liverpool all his life so it seemed like he was 112.---kimjongtrump

蝙蝠侠之所以不遮住整张脸，是因为他要让警察知道自己是白人。
The reason Batman doesn't cover his whole face is because he needs the police to know he's white. ---innit

随着圣诞节临近，各位在路上更需多加小心，会有不少男的喝几杯酒，然后把车让给老婆开。
With Christmas coming be extra careful on the roads as quite a lot of guys will be having a few drinks and letting their wives drive--billgates23

昨儿在海边，有个漂亮妹子向我挥手。但我绝对不会为了跟她搭个讪，游那么老远过去的。
A gorgeous woman waved to me at the beach yesterday. But there was no way I was swimming out that far to talk with her.---smilex

在不到24小时内，有120万人请愿提前进行大选，因为现任英国首相在工党获胜前没交实底儿。

BBC新闻：请愿网站遭俄方入侵。
In less that 24 hours, 1.2 million people have signed a petition calling for a General Election because Kier Starmer lied about his intentions before Labour were elected.

BBC News: Petition website hacked by Russia.---rejectdog

“肯特在8小时的脑部手术中全程保持清醒”

但愿如此；他可是他妈的主刀医生啊。
"Kent man stays awake during eight-hour brain operation"

I should hope so; he was the fucking surgeon..---thedarkman

孩子们说他们圣诞节想要猫猫。

通常我都是整个火鸡。不过，只要他们能开心也不是不行……
My kids say they want a cat for Christmas.

Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it'll make 'em happy...--briansbrain

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